Choose your Battles!
/It is a really old saying but so very RIGHT - Choose your battles with your kids, especially your teens.
They are at an age where they are trying to become an individual. They need to become an individual.
It is right and timely so don’t become their “Lord”, don’t become their “enemy”, and please don’t become their “friend”. It is okay to be their parent. This role is sometimes jankey and hard to describe but it is the most beautiful sweet spot you will find when you settle in to this phase.
Choosing your battles means that things like -
hair color
wearing a coat or not
a clean room
how they spend thier free time
what career or college they are considering
maybe even tatoos!
… are just not conversations that need to turn into big fights (battles)!
Really, don’t forget. - it is becoming their life, just like your life did. Remember?
Be a good example of doing life well. Be a coach, be a fan, be a counselor (when they ask) and most of all be the parent God has called you to be for them AS THEY GROW UP.
Whenever we started to get discouraged about how our kids were doing or worried about the choices they were making we’d ask each other -
Are they on drugs?
Are they staying out all not and not calling?
Are they fighting with others and causing big messes in the family?
Are they failing classess?
Are they skipping school?
Are they disrespectful to you and other adults?
Maybe some of the answers are YES’s, but the point is -your kids are probably doing better than you are giving them credit for! Ease up, and remember to choose your battles carefully - these battles are hammering in at the foundation of your relationship with your kids as they. turn into adults.
You want them to trust you, talk to you and come to you when they need you, right?
You do want a relationship with your adult kids, right?
Then don’t chase them away now, by nit-picking every little thing.
CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES!
